When I was just a little girl

When I was just a little girl
All I wanted was a beard to twirl

I asked my mother why can’t I grow one?
She said, c’mon, it’ll be a pain to get the shaving done

You will need soap, you will need brush, and you will need a razor too
And if you’re not careful you’ll give yourself a cut or two

She said, why go through all that bother, my dear
When you can always give Grand-pa’s beard a morning cheer

I did and he hollered and nearly kicked me in the rear
Damn kid, he said, you had to go upset my ice-chilled beer