Pomes! Pomes! Pomes!

I checked the stats and it’s curious how many people type in the keywords ‘Pyaasi Chudel’ (Thirsty Witch/Ogre) and land up here.

If you’re one of those, sorry, brothers and sisters, this isn’t that sort of a site.

It’s corn that gets reaped here:

On the super-natural -

The Ghost Don't Scare Me
 
The Genie got mugged in the bottle
 
On the social -


The City Run
 
The Saga of Donato
 
A Kooky Love Story
 
Descartes and the Drink
 
On the Da Vinci Code
 
Phony Sheik selling fake Rembrandt
 
Green Cock on an old wall
 
On the political -


All Hat and No Cattle
 
Blair and Beckham
 
The Mess in Mess-O-Potomia
 
Ahmadinejad and Bush: On The Internets
 
Peace on Board
 
The Gropher- In-Chief (Why Isn't I Popular?)
 
On the personal -

Full of Bull
 
Oh, don't bury me in the prairie 

Just Because I'm Dead

Pea Soup for My Soul

I drank pea soup for my soul

I had it in a large bowl

I ate it with a spoon

Right when the clock struck noon

It was nice and good

Totally improved my mood.

Someone Else’s Shoes

They say you shouldn't judge until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes,

But try it, just try it, and they'll have you back and before a judge, with your neck in the noose,

Demanding that you hand over the shoes before they cook your goose,

And then extracting a fine too for all the mileage you covered when you were on the loose.

Loving you is hell

Loving you is hell
It ought to ring a sane bell
But, no, I still think you're a fine sell
And, one of these days, it's going to land me in jail

I've money in the bank, I could use it for bail
But the idea of spending it that way is already making me wail
A sounder option is to see you off on the rail
Last time we did, I was right behind on your trail

Why can't you be a normal, everyday male?
Not a crank with a wishing well
Dancing on every sharp edge and tweaking fate's tail
Yes, loving you is hell

Fingers

Things happen in a war
Some soldiers smoke tar
Others collect fingers in a jar
They pursue their hobby over there
So no one will  indulge in it over here
You know how it is, don't you?
It is not anything at all to rue
What would be a crime here
Is only collateral damage there
That's just the way things are
Keep sticking stickers to your car
Good citizens, never question the crème de la crème
Unstintingly support the Kill Team

King Arthur's Round Table

Ham and Jam and Spamalot,
Arthur reigned in Camelot.
His table we have found,
And it is nice and round.

He and his knights sat around it to plot,
How they were going to rule without a blot.
Everyone would have Ham and Jam in Camelot,
And lack of the proper technology would save them from Spamalot .

Meanwhile Guinevere loved Lancelot,
They gazed at each other and sighed a lot.
You know, it never really got beyond any of that,
The lady was willing, but the gent was too noble to be a rat.

My Glass Eyeball

By Good King Hal, Where's My Glass Eyeball?

I bought it new just this Fall

Did I drop it in the Banquet Hall?

Or did it in the Closet fall?

I'm sure it wasn't over the Cabinet of the Red Doll

Why would I go poking over something that tall?

I asked Harry, Peter and Paul

I announced an award in Gaul

But nobody knows about my Eyeball

And it's driving me right up the wall